Week 1 Power Rankings

Week 1 is officially in the books, which means it is time to overreact to nine lineup decisions, one week of football, and whatever happened to The Meatheads. This is not the standings. Scoring, roster strength, performance and a healthy amount of commissioner judgment all matter. Since this is the first edition, the arrows show Week 1 stock—not movement from a previous ranking.

Week 1 Rankings

Rank	Team	Record	Week 1	Standing	Stock
1	Substation Survivors	1-0	129.05	1st
2	The Schmohawks	1-0	128.40	2nd
3	$EZMoney	1-0	127.20	3rd
4	Snipe King	1-0	126.10	4th
5	Waller's Ballers	1-0	125.90	5th
6	BM3's Bootygoons	0-1	122.35	6th
7	RAW DOGS	0-1	118.30	7th
8	The Fighting Irish	0-1	115.45	8th
9	Razor's Edge	0-1	112.50	9th
10	The Meatheads	0-1	77.25	10th

1. 1

   

   Matt Hirahara

   Substation Survivors

   1-0Record129.05Points

   The newest franchise walked into Week 1 and immediately posted the league's highest score. Amon-Ra St. Brown, Javonte Williams and David Montgomery carried the day while Matthew Stafford and Christian McCaffrey left plenty of room for improvement. That is the part everyone else should notice: Substation scored 129 without anything close to a perfect lineup.

   Week 1 Takeaway

   The league's newest team owns the league's top spot. Everybody hate accordingly.

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2. 2

   

   Jake Corbin

   The Schmohawks

   1-0Record128.40Points

   There are wins, and then there is a 51.15-point demolition. Lamar Jackson, Jonathan Taylor and Justin Jefferson combined for 81 points before the supporting cast even entered the conversation. The Schmohawks missed the scoring crown by just 0.65 and already look built around three legitimate week-winners.

   Week 1 Takeaway

   A terrifying start. They are No. 2 only because Substation beat them by less than a point without playing them.

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3. 3

   

   Casey Lubawy

   $EZMoney

   1-0Record127.20Points

   Possibly the most complete offensive performance of the week. Jayden Daniels, Ashton Jeanty, Breece Hall and Jaxon Smith-Njigba all cleared 18 points as $EZMoney beat a good RAW DOGS team. DK Metcalf and the Denver defense left even more points on the table.

   Week 1 Takeaway

   Balanced, explosive and already getting monster production from the rookie.

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4. 4

   

   Brad Realmuto

   Snipe King

   1-0Record126.10Points

   Ja'Marr Chase scored 2.20. Snipe King scored 126.10 anyway. Jaxson Dart erupted, Chris Olave and Ladd McConkey delivered, and Seattle's defense added 13. If this is the floor when the roster's biggest name disappears, the ceiling is uncomfortable for everyone else.

   Week 1 Takeaway

   If 126 happens when Ja'Marr does nothing, there could be some ugly Sundays ahead.

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5. 5

   

   Chris Waller

   Waller's Ballers

   1-0Record125.90Points

   Waller survived the week's best game, edging BM3 by 3.55. Bijan Robinson and Trey McBride led the offense while the Steelers defense supplied a massive 18. The quarterback and receivers were quiet, yet the Ballers still cleared 125.

   Week 1 Takeaway

   A very good win against a very good opponent. This roster is deeper than fifth place suggests.

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6. 6

   

   Bobby Merten III

   BM3's Bootygoons

   0-1Record122.35Points

   Welcome to the record-is-lying portion of the rankings. Jalen Hurts and Jahmyr Gibbs combined for nearly 64 points, while Drake London and Terry McLaurin combined for only 6.90. BM3 scored more than every other losing team and simply drew the wrong opponent.

   Week 1 Takeaway

   The most dangerous 0-1 team in the league. Nobody is volunteering to play Hurts and Gibbs next.

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7. 7

   

   Vince Diaz

   RAW DOGS

   0-1Record118.30Points

   Derrick Henry and D'Andre Swift both crossed 31, but the rest of the lineup stalled and the Texans defense finished at negative two. RAW DOGS still scored 118.30 and would have beaten three teams; they happened to meet a $EZMoney lineup that dropped 127.

   Week 1 Takeaway

   The record says 0-1. The score says this probably is not a bottom-three team for long.

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8. 8

   

   Casey Soulies

   The Fighting Irish

   0-1Record115.45Points

   Caleb Williams delivered 43.95 and the Irish still lost by nearly two touchdowns. Zay Flowers helped, but Puka Nacua, A.J. Brown and Travis Kelce combined for only 22.60. A respectable score ran into the highest-scoring team of the week.

   Week 1 Takeaway

   Good score. Bad matchup. An extremely annoying way to start 0-1.

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9. 9

   

   Angel Rodriguez

   Razor's Edge

   0-1Record112.50Points

   Josh Allen did everything short of driving the team bus home, scoring 43. Nico Collins and the kicker helped; the rest got thin quickly. When the quarterback gives you 43, that is normally the week you cash in a win—not lose by 13.60.

   Week 1 Takeaway

   Josh Allen is doing Josh Allen things. He could use some assistance.

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10. 10

    

    David Garcia

    The Meatheads

    0-1Record77.25Points

    Somebody had to be tenth, and there was not much debate. Kenneth Walker III scored 32.60—more than 40 percent of the entire output—while Jaylen Waddle and Colston Loveland combined for 0.70. When Walker scores 32.6 and the lineup cannot crack 80, there are larger issues to discuss.

    Week 1 Takeaway

    Burn the tape.

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